Confusion.....

So....viva is over. I passed, and all is good....well...kind of.

I seem to have a problem understanding people....maybe it's my insecurity kicking in...I don't know...I'm just in a weird unfamiliar situation at the moment...should I run away? Should I not? What if people say stuff just to be nice...or because they think I want to hear nice stuff???? It's a very strange feeling...sometimes I get the impression people do and say things for the wrong reason...maybe to protect me? Or themselves? Who knows....this is why I am so confused. Perhaps I should just stop all form of social interaction with people....bleh....Do I really come across as such a frail helpless being???!??! I don't think I am.... I've been through quite a lot, both emotionally (seeing my father in hospital so many times, family issues, breaking up with a person who was very important to me....etc....) and physically (having gone through 2 eating disorders)....so in my opinion I am quite a strong person....Well, I am living in a foreign country. Didn't know anyone at first....just started a new chapter in my life in a new country with nothing to rely on excpet my own self....that's not being weak. I disagree.

Hmm....so now I've told you about the eating disorders...well....had to crop up at some point. I don't let it bother me anymore. Though I have a feeling that I shouldn't tell people about it. I don't want them to pity me....I don't want anyone to pity me. I am alive to tell the story...that doesn't show I'm weak....but it shows I'm strong to have overcome it. There...

And just to show that it is all part of the past...here's today's picture:



Ah well.....it will pass. Heh. I am easily confused. Will let you know the outcome hehehe

XXX